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Archive for September, 2005

Fainting Goats

Fainting GoatMost of the internet savvy, it seems, are somewhat lacking in knowledge relating to the interesting topic of “bizarre domesticated animals that people breed for fun.” To help reduce this unfortunate trend, I introduce the fainting goat.

The small, domesticated goat carries the hereditary genetic disorder called myotonia congenita which causes the legs of this little critter to, when startled or excited, go rigidly stiff for about ten seconds.

As far as I can tell, most people breed these varmints mostly to snap open umbrellas at them, and watch as they scatter like bowling pins. In the past however, fainting goats were bred for circuses and menageries as food; the fainting goat would be placed in an enclosed location with an animal that needed to hunt, such as a lion. The chase didn’t last long once the goat was startled by the giant cat bearing down on it. The lion got to hunt, the animal’s keepers didn’t have to let it out of its cage–everybody wins. Except the goat.

The best part: The Video

Mechanically Separated Chicken and Other Horrors

The foods that lurk on grocery shelves have ingredient lists that often defy pronunciation. Those few words that can be pronounced are sometimes far too horrible to contemplate. I thought I’d peel back the greasy cellophane and get the skinny on what makes these processed “foods” tick. If you’re prone to abandoning food items when you learn their dark secrets, I suggest you stop reading now.

Here are but a few, in no particular order:

Slim JimMechanically Separated Chicken:
A primary ingredient in Slim Jims and many other food-flavored solids, the name conjures images of plucked chicken carcasses being tossed into a giant machine that rips the flesh from its bones, and grinds the remains into mush. And coincidentally, that’s EXACTLY what it is. It comes out the other end as a gooey paste. No doubt it will be the same consistency when the hospital’s stomach pump mechanically separates the chicken from me.

Partially Hydrogenated Vegetable/Soybean/Cottonseed Oil:
Refers to oils that have had hydrogen added, in the presence of small amounts of catalyst metals such as nickel, palladium, platinum or cobalt. This causes the oil harden to a desired level, but it creates trans fatty acids, which are very unfriendly to the heart. Found in Crisco, Oreos, and many other tasty, death-hastening foods.

Brominated Vegetable Oil (BVO):
Vegetable oil mixed with bromine. According to webelements.com, bromine is “a heavy, volatile, mobile, dangerous reddish-brown liquid. The red vapour has a strong unpleasant odour and the vapour irritates the eyes and throat. [...] When spilled on the skin it produces painful sores. It is a serious health hazard, and maximum safety precautions should be taken when handling it.” It is used in to allow artificial citrus flavoring to mix with oil, often in citrus-flavored sodas such as Mountain Dew.

Trace amounts of BVO are stored permanently in body fat when it is consumed. BVO is one of only four food additives the FDA considers “interim,” and it must be periodically re-approved for safety.

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Can We Trust the Red Cross?

Red CrossThe three million unpaid volunteers for the Red Cross are an able, well-intentioned bunch… and they certainly do a lot of good. But recently the Red Cross organization itself has undergone some close scrutiny, and there are some troubling findings.

According to Richard M. Walden (president and CEO of Operation USA), it is estimated that 70% of the $1.2 Billion donated to Katrina-related donations went to the Red Cross, yet the Red Cross is fully reimbursed by the government for any shelters or emergency services they provide. Repeatedly, the Red Cross has run into trouble for spending much less on disaster recovery than they collect, shuffling the extra funds into their “national disaster account,” where it can be used for purposes other than that it was collected for. That’s the sort of trouble they saw in the aftermath of the 1989 San Francisco Bay Area earthquake, and after 9/11.

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A Hairsbreadth From Utter Destruction

Nuke DetonationSeptember 26th, 1983 doesn’t stick out in the annals of history as a day to remember. It wasn’t the day of a great discovery. It wasn’t the beginning of a new era in science or art. For many years, the only thing of note that happened on this day was that the Australians beat the Americans in the Americas Cup. In reality, it became the day that the world was literally saved by the enemy.

1983 found the world in the middle of the Cold War. The Communist Soviets and the Capitalist Americans looked over the oceans at each other with propagandically driven distrust, fear, and hate. It was the beginning of the age of spy satellites, nuclear rockets and itchy trigger fingers. The world was still reeling from the aftermath of Korean Air Flight 007.

On Sept 1st of that year, the Soviets had shot down a straying Korean Air flight, killing all 269 passengers aboard, including a US Senator. The flight had strayed into an area usually targeted by US spy planes but hadn’t turned back as the spy flight usually did. The Soviets, thinking of this as a provocation, scrambled their jets and blew it out of the sky 55 km out to sea. The world was shocked. The US called it a “massacre”, an “act of barbarism”, and a “crime against humanity”. Political ties were strained to breaking and the Russian state airline Aeroflot was driven out of the United States. In a scene that could have been taken from “Crimson Tide”, “War Games”, or “Dr. StrangeLove”, unfolded one of the most frightening moments in history.

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Beer Flood Claims Nine Souls

Beer SteinOn October 17, 1814, over 100 years before the Boston Molasses Flood, a very unfortunate beer-related incident occurred in London. A huge vat which held over 135,000 gallons of fermenting beer succumbed to the wounds of age, and let its bounty loose with explosive force. The impact caused several other vats in the same building to rupture, and almost instantly the combined 323,000+ gallons of ale crashed through the brick structure and poured into the London parish of St. Giles, a slum area.

The impact of this massive wave of beer was disastrous. Men and women were caught in the wave, tossed against walls and buried in debris. The beer completely destroyed two homes, and flooded many others. A wall at a nearby pub crumbled under the force, burying a barmaid there for several hours. Nine people were killed by the drink that day, all but one due to drowning. The ninth died of alcohol poisoning. Most of the victims were poor individuals who either lost their lives, or everything they owned.

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Liquid Telescopes

Ask any astronomer if she’d like a perfectly parabolic six-meter-diameter mirror at one-fiftieth the price, and she’ll be unable to answer for all the drooling. Yet, according to the journal Science, the folks at the Alberta Canada Large Zenith Telescope (LZT) have accomplished exactly that. The secret? The mirror is 30 liters of rotating mercury.

When the heavy liquid metal is rotated, the “centrifugal” (inertial) forces combine with gravity to form the liquid into a near-mathematically-perfect paraboliod. This shape is ideal for collecting the faint light from astronomical objects and focusing it into an image. The larger the mirror, the more light gathered, and the clearer pictures you get (within certain constraints).

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Body-Snatching Barnacles and Zombie Crabs

BarnacleThere is no small number of unsettling parasites crawling, flying, and swimming about the Earth, the lucky ones hitching rides on hapless host organisms. And while many parasites are harmless, or even beneficial in their way, others can wreak havoc with their hosts’ existence. The worst of these offenders can actually force their host to do their will.

A tiny barnacle called Sacculina is one such parasite. Upon finding a host crab, a female Sacculina will crawl over the crab’s surface until she finds a chink in the armor: a joint. She then ejects her protective shell, reducing herself to a gelatinous blob, and invades.

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Operation Midnight Climax

CIA LSD Use UncoveredThe US CIA and military is filled with a history of bad decisions, deceit, and in some cases what I would classify as pure evil. One such misguided and unethical program was an appendage of Project MKULTRA under the name of Operation Midnight Climax.

Before we go into detail we must first explore the nature of Project MKULTRA. MKULTRA was started in 1953 under the direction of CIA director Allen Dulles. The program was allowed to use up to 6% of the total CIA budget and required no budget oversight or reporting. The premise of MKULTRA was to explore the use of “mind-control” drugs after alleged uses of such drugs by Communist Leadership (Soviets, Chinese and North Koreans) on U.S. POWs. The drugs included the use of LSD, Heroin, and Sodium Pentothal (Truth Serum).

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