Energy DrinksEnergy drinks are everywhere nowadays, tempting us from the refrigerated section with their brazen portions of caffeine and natural energy-givers. Most of their labels carry disquieting warnings against exceeding a few cans a day, and discourage anyone in less-than-perfect health from participating in the orgy of wakefulness that lurks behind the lids of these potency-lending concoctions.

In the name of science, and just in time for the holiday shopping season, we here at DamnInteresting.com have brutalized our bodies and our taste buds to discover just how effective today’s trendy energy drinks really are. We selected three individuals– two men and a woman– of varying physiologies to sample eleven of the most popular energy drinks on the market, and we each rated the drinks’ taste and effectiveness on a 1-10 scale. We stuck to one drink per day to prevent tainted results, but of course this test is not strictly scientific, so your mileage may vary.

For the purposes of this research, despite what the labels may claim to the contrary, we consider a serving size to be one whole can/bottle. Clearly the producers of these drinks didn’t intend for several energy-seeking buddies to each stick a straw into the container and split it three ways, so I’m assuming that the brands whose labels claim two or three servings have done so as a marketing decision, or because their lawyers wanted to avoid lawsuits.

The Testers:

Alan Jason Estela
Description I’m not particularly active aside from some racquetball once(ish) a week and as much walking and biking as I can manage, which isn’t so much. The rest of the time, I’m at the computer. I’ve had a long, fruitful relationship with caffeine in the form of cola and coffee. I’m professional desk pilot, spending 8 hours a day at a computer. In my off time I like to write. To counterbalance all my time on my rear I engage in daily weight training, and several hobby athletics. I’m a large knuckle dragger. I’m not afraid of caffeine in any form, and oft imbibe soda pop. After the weight training, I need a little extra pick up. I try to work out every morning … but don’t succeed. When I do get out it’s mostly cardio. I’ve managed a couple half-marathons, and dig biking. I spend most of my day glued to a chair. I do my best to dodge carbonation and caffeine … except the caffeine in chocolate! I like that kind!

Move on to page two for the reviews of the individual drinks (in alphabetical order), or skip to page three to see the summary of our findings.

Alan Bellows is the founder, developer, designer, and managing editor of Damn Interesting, and he likes the Oxford comma.