Steve, Don’t Eat It!

Written by Alan Bellows on 24 October 2005

Oh Crap, a Jar of Skin! Throughout history, there have been men of science who put their own well-being on the line in the pursuit of truth, not unlike the 2005 Nobel prize winners in medicine. While such actions may be detrimental to a researcher’s health, the service to humanity is incalculable. One such hero of the masses is Steve, who samples “foods” such as pickled pork rinds, corn smut, and silkworm pupas… so you don’t have to. Be warned, the site contains some harsh language and harsh foods.

From the site:

While perusing the “Good Lord, NOOOO!” aisle of the supermarket, I came across the atrocity known as Dolores Brand Pickled Pork Rinds. These are not the crunchy pork rinds you’ll often see over by the chips. These are their grosser, soggier, potentially botulism-ier cousins.

The label says “Ready to Eat.” They left off “By Dumb-Asses.”

There is also a red starburst proudly proclaiming “Nuevo Envase de Vidrio Reusable”. Not knowing much Spanish, I could only assume that meant “Oh Crap — A Jar of Skin!”

Steve, Don’t Eat It!

Alan Bellows is the founder, designer, and managing editor of DamnInteresting.com, and he is perpetually behind schedule.


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#1 rp2 24 October 2005 at 02:32 pm

I’m sorry, but I can’t stop laughing. Aside from damninteresting.com, this is now my favorite website.

#2 PERKY_NIHILIST 24 October 2005 at 04:04 pm

I have to agree with rp2… I’m in tears here. Steve is hilarious!

#3 Caz 24 October 2005 at 06:13 pm

Blimey. What a foul lot of foodstuffs he’s, erm, tasted. The descrips of the experiences are priceless!

#4 Bryan Lowder 24 October 2005 at 08:45 pm

This is pretty funny.

I have to tell my story… One day, my wife and I decided to finally stop by one of those taco stands she drove past every day. The woman running the stand barely spoke English. By gestures and occasional English words, we got the message that “Chicharones” meant “Pork”. Technically true… My wife got the great big three-dollar burrito full-o-chicharones. She took one bite and no more. I abhor waste, so I attempted to eat the thing. Turns out “chicharones” are basically the crispy fried pork rinds… boiled into a fatty, gelatinous mass. I had to admit defeat about half way through. The mouth feel was the worst. Stay away from chicharones! You know, though, SOMEBODY on the planet thinks this is the most delicious thing ever made…

#5 EstelaBellows 24 October 2005 at 08:50 pm

Hey! I like Chicharrones… they are good!

#6 Josh Harding 25 October 2005 at 09:42 am

Estella, having eaten the Ukrainian version of a Snickers bar, as well as the Russian version of holiday jello, I can only say, that I can’t blame you.

Salo is essentially smoked, or not, pork fat. Add pieces of garlic and you have the Ukrainian Snickers. Its actually great on black bread with a spicy mustard.

Kholodets, a meat gelatin made around the holidays. Its quite good with bread and if its made right. Although I must say I have seen foriegners break into tears at the thought of having to eat it.

#7 Alan Bellows 25 October 2005 at 10:30 am

Food boundaries are purely artificial. In Korea, dog is a common meal… and why not? Our distaste here in America is motivated not by health concerns, but by sentimentality. The same is true of horse meat.

Me, I like the taste of my foot.

#8 torxdurley 26 October 2005 at 10:06 am

I was interested to find out straight from the “horses mouth” that Jimmy Buffett’s song “Cheeseburger in Paradise” was actually a burger made of horsemeat at a restuarant in the Bahamas.

While everyone from Talahassee to Key Largo claims fame to the actually burger, I for one know different.
A totally useless factoid form someone who has eaten a mutton burger at 3:00 a.m. in Maastrich Germany.

#9 me09 07 August 2006 at 01:34 pm

Chicharrones are good. Just look for nice brands. Oh and “Nuevo Envase de Vidrio Reusable” means new reusable glass container.

#10 Misanthrope 17 August 2006 at 03:39 pm

There is also a red starburst proudly proclaiming “Nuevo Envase de Vidrio Reusable”. Not knowing much Spanish, I could only assume that meant “Oh Crap — A Jar of Skin!”

Nothing so honest or relevant I’m afraid – it means “New, Reusable Glass Container”. How boring!

#11 DanThinksDances&femaleGspot 23 August 2008 at 07:42 pm

Enter your reply text here. OK

Anyone actually eat a piece of “shit”?

Neither have I. Once served it though. Camping, hot chocolate after dark, dumped a clean cooking pot into small flowing mountain run off stream. To dark to see, but got a full pot of water. & boiled to purify. GIRLS are not impressed if (the water boiling for 15 min. to kill any germs) lifting off the pot top and seeing floaters – dirt or or worse cow pie!

Lession- use a flash light.

#12 DanThinksDances&femaleGspot 23 August 2008 at 07:46 pm

Enter your reply text here. OK

Is “shit” steralized if it’s boiled? uhhhhh gross what why huuh?

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Steve, Don’t Eat It!