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Tin Foil Hats Proven Ineffective

Article #46 • Written by Alan Bellows

A recent study at MIT produced alarming results which throw the security of every paranoid person's thoughts into question. It seems that the tin-foil hat-- often the brain's only line of information defense-- is ineffective for the task of blocking government-controlled radio frequencies. In fact, in some cases, these aluminum anti-intrusion devices actually amplify the radio waves.

Of course, this is all assuming the government isn't manipulating this, to destroy the our confidence in the protective powers of tin-foil...

From the study's web page:

Among a fringe community of paranoids, aluminum helmets serve as the protective measure of choice against invasive radio signals. We investigate the efficacy of three aluminum helmet designs on a sample group of four individuals. Using a $250,000 network analyser [sic], we find that although on average all helmets attenuate invasive radio frequencies in either directions (either emanating from an outside source, or emanating from the cranium of the subject), certain frequencies are in fact greatly amplified. These amplified frequencies coincide with radio bands reserved for government use according to the Federal Communication Commission (FCC). Statistical evidence suggests the use of helmets may in fact enhance the government's invasive abilities. We theorize that the government may in fact have started the helmet craze for this reason.

What will the crazy people do now to protect their precious thoughts? I'm guessing we'll see a mass migration to the use of make-shift Faraday cages constructed from discarded SOS pads.

Article written by Alan Bellows, published on 10 November 2005. Alan is the founder/designer/head writer/managing editor of Damn Interesting.

Article design by Alan Bellows.
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10 Comments
JustAnotherName
Posted 11 November 2005 at 03:40 pm

Oh those guys at MIT. Great work!! Really. It's a good idea they did this study; if done by anyone else no one would EVER have believed the EXACT OPPOSITE of the desired results would occurr. Something like that.


Bryan Lowder
Posted 11 November 2005 at 11:33 pm

This is the most beautiful article I have ever seen.


jblums2
Posted 06 December 2005 at 12:11 pm

I'll admit I did not read the entire study, but there is a big difference between aluminum foil and tin foil.


Nikolaus
Posted 21 February 2006 at 09:47 pm

It's obvious why it didn't work; they used aluminum, not tin. Tin is the key ingredient.


pseudosanity
Posted 16 March 2006 at 12:38 pm

I like my hat and will continue to wear it as a fashion statement.


Kafka
Posted 09 June 2006 at 05:26 am

I've heard of a clothing line which caters to the paranoid. They make fashionable caps and hats with metal linings, even beanies with flexible tin foil layers.


WolfManDragon
Posted 29 June 2006 at 11:25 am

At the Cafe Copia in Vegas (it no longer exists, it burned) we had our own ranking Chess Master. Damn Interesting guy, I only witnessed one loss at Chess (he ran out of time) and never at backgammon. His hat was lined with foil.

Now I get it, he was using the foil lining as a receptor. Cheater (said tongue in cheek, he was brilliant)


Former-Marine
Posted 14 October 2007 at 12:35 am

Cool Article. However, it fails to mention one very important historical fact: 10 November 2005 is the 230th Birthday of the U.S. Marine Corps. Oorah!


DanThinksDances&femaleGspot
Posted 14 September 2008 at 10:12 pm

Enter your reply text here. OK

Bryan Lowder said: "This is the most beautiful article I have ever seen."

You should see a sexy article from Hustler magazine. It's free for the government.

Good stuff.


DanThinksDances&femaleGspot
Posted 14 September 2008 at 10:14 pm

Enter your reply text here. OK

opps, this reading was the good stuff.


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