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This just in……
Get your tickets fast. The Russians are at it again. First, they gave rides in their fighter jets. Then they put a tourist in the International Space Station. Now they are offering the chance of a lifetime…a tour to the moon.
That’s right folks, step right up. For only 100 million dollars, you, yes you, can take a two week vacation to the moon. Imagine all the thrills and chills you will get flying to the earth’s only natural satellite and cruising around that big ball o’cheese for 5-6 days before returning to earth.
Think of it all. 15 days of weightlessness, astronaut food, defecation into little bags, smelling the cockpit after someone defecated into a little bag…and the list goes on and on.
It’s not recommended that you take your kids, though. Can you imagine after the first 10,000 miles when the “Are we there yet?”, “I’m bored”, “Johnny’s touching me.” start up. There will be no pit stops, no McDonald’s playgrounds, and even your kids won’t believe your threats of turning the space capsule around and going home.
So far there haven’t been any takers, so be the first to take a vacation to the moon. Mars tour packages will be available sometime after 2030 when the first Russian piloted mission is expected.
Russian news article